I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
