Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I want you more than these girls want KFC
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Randomize
