Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
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