It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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