I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
