I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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