Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
