I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
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