I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Randomize
