But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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