You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
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