I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
