Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
