I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
