thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
