what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
