y did u give ur computer a hand job?
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
