My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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