dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Randomize
