thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
