And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
