when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
bring money and cleavage
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Randomize
