I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
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