then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Randomize
