Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
smell my finger.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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