Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
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