yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
someone owes me an orgasm
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
