Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
