lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
