Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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