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The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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