you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize