It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Couch. On fire.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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