Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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