I smell stomach acid.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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