My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
