weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
