please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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