I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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