Dual....:-)
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Randomize
