M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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