i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
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