eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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