Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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