Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
