And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize