Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
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