your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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