party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
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There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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