Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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