I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Randomize
