With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Holy sore nipples Batman
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Randomize
