Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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