Welp...herpes.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
NoShamevember. You game?
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
