i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
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