my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
i've created a new STD.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
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