We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
