My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
