Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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