3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
