Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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