i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
