who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
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